weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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