I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
