Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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