i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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