i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
