did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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