it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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