i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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