but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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