the day after is always just damage control
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
