the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
