I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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