i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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