Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
