i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
