elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
