i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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