i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize