You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
