Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wear drunk well.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
