why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
