the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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