so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you had me at cake vodka
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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