he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
