You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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