i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize