You can't special order awesome
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
