yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
