They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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