I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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