i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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