we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
