So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
