Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
