you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
