The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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