My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
