i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
