Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
