You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
