Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
