Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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