Will you blow on my dice?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize