I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
