Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
