if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
