and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
FUCK WHALES
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