what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize