It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
