school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
