So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
