i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around