I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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