I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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