Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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