Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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