why didn't you poke me back
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize