sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
