Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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