You can't motorboat a personality
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
