My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize