let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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