We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
