I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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