You just made me feel so damn special
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good