It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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