my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
