my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
