He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
